Our first line of defense.
The crew was fed up with Chewbacca.
Leia: Chewie, we staged this intervention because you need to know…
Han: It’s your HAIR, Chewie. It’s matted. It’s unkempt. You’re going to start to smell. Have some pride, Chewie!
Yoda: You, we like. The hair, it is a problem.
Chewie: AUNGHHGHHHH! UNNGHGHHRRRN!
Admiral Ackbar: We know it’s hard to brush that much hair, Chewie. But you need to make an effort! And don’t scoff at my soft, hairless scalp. The ladies love it!
Yoda: His feelings, we hurt.
Leia: I know, Yoda, but it’s what’s best for him in the end.
Han: Yeah, he’ll thank us when he sees what a stud he could be. Besides. He looked like the smelly kid. I don’t need to be associated with that.
R2D2: Beep boop.
Han: Shut it, Artoo.Yoda: Weird-looking we both are. More understanding, Ackbar should be. Weird-looking, he is too. But, hurt feelings, you shouldn’t have. Care about you, everyone does!
Chewie: GRAAAARGHNNAH. AUNNNGH!
Yoda: Yes. Fish face he does have. But, right you are. Forward we must move. A comb you must purchase. Happy you will be!
Yoda: Farnsworth! To see you, it is good! Long time, it has been!
Farnsworth: Well hellooooo Yoda! Hellooooo Chewie!
Yoda: Moustache you’ve got! New that is?
Farnsworth: You like my mouuuustache? It is newwwwww and floppy!
Chewie: ANNNNNNNNGHHHH RAUUUUUNGH!
Farnsworth: Yes, difficult to grooooooom, but very worth it!
Leia: Farnsworth! It’s wonderful to see you!
Han: Fantastic moustache, man!
Farnsworth: Youuuuu like it?
Admiral Ackbar: I like it so much I feel like IT’S A TRAP!
R2D2: Beep beep boop beep
Farnsworth: Well, everyooooone, I didn’t know how the mouuuustache would go over, but it seems like a smashing success! Wonderfuuuuuul! I must be going but I’m suuuuure we’ll bump into each other again sooooon! Tata!
Han: Did you see his incredible moustache? Do you think I could pull off a mustache like that?
Admiral Ackbar: You’ve got a better chance than me. My smooth and supple skin can’t support even a strand of hair.
Leia: Even I’m jealous of that moustache!
R2D2: Boop beep boop boop
Han: No way, Artoo. You’d look stupid with that moustache, not me!
R2D2: Beeeeeep boop boooop…
Han: We’ll see, won’t we?
THE NEXT DAY…
Yoda: Farnsworth! Again bumping into you!
Leia: Now you have an awesome hat, too? Who are you, Farnsworth?
Admiral Ackbar: Farnsworth, notice anything different about us today?
R2D2: Beep beep boop beep
Farnsworth: Welllll helloooooo again! Loooook at you all! You’re fancy! You’re the beeeeees kneeeees! Come, come! Weeeee must show everybodyyyyy!
Han: Oh. Chewie. Hi there.
Admiral Ackbar: IT’S A TRAP!
Yoda: Trap it’s not. Stupid you are.
Farnsworth: Chewieeeeee! So nice to see youuuuuu! Like my hat?
Chewie: GRAAAAAGH! AUGGGGH RAAAAAH RAAAAAAAUGH!
Admiral Ackbar: Whoa, low blow there, Chew-meister. This mustache, though fake, is classy. Well-kempt, I might add…
R2D2: Beep boop beep beep beep boop.
Admiral Ackbar: You both have valid points. Artoo, a bird’s nest has much more order in its construction than the snarls in his fur. Chewie, robots with moustaches are the wave of the future. Just you wait. Don’t hate on it.
Chewie: RAAAAWRRR! GRRRRRRAWWWWRRRAAAAAHH! GRR RAARR AUUUUGHHHRRR.
Han: C’mon now, Chewie. There’s no need for that. Leia looks hot, even with a moustache.
Yoda: Moustaches we wanted. Look good, do we. Hate us for that, you should not.
Leia: Chewie, we were only trying to help. Being rude now won’t change any of that.
Admiral Ackbar: He’s just jealous of how easily we can keep our hair looking nice.
Leia: Admiral, that wasn’t necessary. And, he’s right. All your hair is fake. There’s no keeping it, except for the glue.
Chewie: GRAAAH. ARRGH RAAAH GRAAAAUGHH RAAAAWRRRRGH.
Farnsworth: They did that to youuuuu? But your fur…it’s beauuuuuutiful! They’re nuuuuuts.
Farnsworth: I just loooooove your fur. Let them talk.
THE NEXT DAY…
Farnsworth: Doodley dooooo…dooo doooo doooooooo!
Han: Uh, hey Farnsworth.
Farnsworth: Hellloooooo! Lovely to see youuuuu!
Ackbar: Uh, Farnsworth –
Leia: What’s the deal with the fur?
Yoda: Great was the moustache but gross is the fur.
Farnsworth: I thought we were doooooing National Admire Someone Else’s Hair Weeeeeek! Your mouuuuustaches? My fuuuuuur?
Chewie: HAHAHA! ARRRUGHHHH! RAAWRRRRH HAH HAH!
Han: Now, Chewie, it’s not nice to gloat.
Leia: And your hair really did need a good brushing.
Chewie: BWAAAAAA GURAAAAH HUAAAANGHHH!
Yoda: Right you are, Chewie. Sorry we should be.
Farnsworth: Meee? The coooolest one on the block? Unbeeeeelievable!
Admiral Ackbar: IT’S ALWAYS A TRAP! Moustaches? I should have stayed home.