Strange New Worlds…

Han, Leia, Chewy, and R2D2 were out exploring a new land.

“What a great adventure!” exclaimed Han, while Leia wore a concerned expression on her face.
“This land sure is strange…” she muttered.
“Beep, boop” Artoo agreed.

They stood looking around.  “I wonder what all this red stuff is on the ground,” mused Leia.
“Beep beep beep boop,” said R2D2, but nobody was listening to him.

“This red stuff goes on for as far as the eye can see!” exclaimed Han.  “This is going to be great!”
“HUNNNGHAAAAAHH!” agreed Chewy.
“Beep beep beep boop,” repeated R2D2 as insistently as he could, but everyone was too excited to see what was out there to listen to Artoo.

Suddenly, from above and out of nowhere came a large, threatening object.  Artoo beeped and booped his warning as loud as he could…

…but it was too late.  The little droid that could tried with all his might to get the heavy object off of his friends.  It dawned on each of them as they lay squashed under the object just what those red splatters were that dotted the hostile landscape.

Shedding android tears and trailing his friends’ blood behind him, Artoo headed back to the ship.  He didn’t know how he’d explain this one, but he was sure he could somehow blame the incident on Han’s swagger.  If only they’d listened…

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Training Day

During a stop at a mushroom-shaped planet for some routine maintenance, the happy-go-lucky crew of the Millennium Falcon picked up a mysterious stranger in a green hat.  The stranger seemed very interested in the ways of the Jedi, so Luke grabbed his light saber to give him a first-hand look at the power of the Force.

With his blast shield down, however, Luke soon became disoriented, and although Obi-Wan tried to warn him, the stranger didn’t understand the danger he was in…

…until it was too late.

“WAAAAAAA!!!”

The young Jedi’s panicked reaction left the disappointed Obi-Wan to clean up the mess and mutter quietly to himself.

Before long, however, Luke’s guilty conscience brought him back to the scene.

“Luke,” said Obi-Wan.  “You have learned a valuable lesson today.  A Jedi must remain calm in all situations.”

“You’re right, Ben,” said Luke.  “I still have a long way to go before I’m a true Jedi master, don’t I?”

“Patience, young Luke.  Now come, let us put this unfortunate instance behind us and never speak of it again.”

“EeeeAArrggHH?!”* said Chewbacca (*translation: Hi guys!  What’s going on over here?)

“WAAAAAAA!!!” said the two Jedi, and they ran away to look for a good place to hide.

“EeeeeArgHHhh?”* (translation: So…I guess no one wants to play Space Chess?)

Playground Fun?

Han, Leia, and Chewy were taking a much deserved break from the constant pressure of fighting the Empire, choosing to relax by playing a bit of jump rope.  Chewy was dying to show off a new jump rope rhyme he learned on Dantooine and Han and Leia were only too happy to humor him.  They were so engrossed in their fun, they didn’t notice anyone lurking nearby…

…which was unfortunate for suddenly three bruisers from the Empire showed up.  Darth, in his constant (but secret) quest to impress his daughter used the force to manipulate the jump rope they had just been using.  His evil tendencies, as always, won out over his paternal ones.  Leia and her friends remained entangled in the jump rope while Q6-Z9 and Eddie stood by, jeering and mocking.

How will the rebels ever recover from such a grievous indignity?

Cast of Characters

Introducing our humble players:

Obi-Wan Kenobi, R2-D2, Luke Skywalker

Obi-Wan Kenobi: A mysterious and powerful hermit from desert climes.

R2-D2: A loveable, beepable robot with the courage of 10 robots (plus 2).

Luke Skywalker: A whiny, yet capable, hero with delusions of grandeur.

Princess Leia, Han Solo, Chewbacca

Princess Leia: Badass hair, badass attitude.

Han Solo: Scruffy looking smuggler with a heart of gold and an itchy trigger finger.

Chewbacca: Bad hair, but a lovely singing voice.

Eddie, Q6-Z9, Darth Vader

Eddie: Slimy, reptilian pilot who has dreams of universal domination (and nightmares of tiny puppies).

Q6-Z9: R2-D2 with a bad motivator, a corrupted CPU, and an inferiority complex microchip.

Darth Vader: Evil robot mastermind (and your future overlord).

Harry Potter, Frank the Cop

Harry Potter: The boy who lived (for now…).

Frank the Cop: There aren’t enough donuts in the galaxy to bribe this pillar of justice.